I Have A Blog; God Help the World

Blogging - the official pass time of people on the internet who have nothing to do at night. Masturbation is out of the picture, because who has the arm strength these days? It's that kind of thing that makes me sick to live in the United Diabetes of America.

Even inner city gangs are too lazy to get out and shoot people.

America is in a state of wreck. Ever since we let the son of an overrated conservative riding on the wave of Ronald Reagan's blood get elected over Bill Clinton's environmental sock-puppet, the nation has started to enter a downwards spiral towards unenviable nuclear civil war. The only ones who will survive will be the Amish and anyone who lives in a cave. So... Mormons.

Is that the 'squeeing' of multiple GOP members or the moaning of TLC's Sister Wives?

Sadly, I will not die either, since I have taken the time to prepare my toilet to survive a nuclear attack. I don't need guns; I'm a woman, which gives me a bargaining advantage - something that men can never have without women. That's right. I'm talking about kitchen skills. That's right, I said it. Men can't cook, unless they're possessed by cooks from Hell('s Kitchen) or foreign. Now that is certainly not saying that American boys are not skilled in ways of being somewhat attractive. But Afrikaner accents and British accents are something all boys should have. If not, what else would us women find attractive? Their eyes? Their chests? We can't talk to a chest, or hear advice from someone's eyes. We need communication; it's why we invented phones and the internet. 

Sometimes we women get carried away. This is an example of super-communication.

Oh, I'm sorry... Did you guys think that you made the internet? Well, you're wrong. You may have made many of the vulgar websites on here, but the majority of said websites were made by us women. The same goes for those fundamentalist Christian websites, but that was back in the Middle Ages when most of us were nuns and most of the men were busy either trying to burn Muslims or live in (totally not gay) buildings that were isolated from society (totally not gay.) With only other guys (again, not gay.)

   

I'm just joking; I love homosexual people. I myself am bisexual. Which gives me the opportunity to explore my options. Which is what all politicians should do. Yes, GOP, I'm talking to you. If people tried once in a while, maybe we could get things done. And, maybe the UN wouldn't be such a laughing stock... well... it still would be. But that doesn't matter. We'd have progress, not a miracle. 

That's all for tonight, and I think I've made my point; I'm a blogger now, and expect me to get off track.

<3,

Jacquelyn